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Acre of Salt. Deluxe

by Ben Zaidi

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1.
Daydreams got the best of me again I saw my body lying in the waves Tall light out in chesapeake today All the greens are turning into grey And i say Love me with my headphones on I can't come when I can hear you crying Keep going going gone, we're going on gone I don't wanna live too long Seems like every thing of beauty's dying Keep going going gone, we're going on gone Day drunk in St. Augustine again I'd trade my body to the wind This life will be the death of me someday But that ain't much of a thing to say Anyway Will you love me with my headphones on I can't come if I can hear you crying Keep going going gone, we're going on gone I don't wanna live too long Seems like everything of beauty's dying Keep going going gone, we're going on gone Love me with my headphones on Don't nobody wanna hear me crying Keep going going gone, we're going on gone I don't wanna live too long Every summer now the sea keeps rising Keep going going gone, we're going on gone
2.
My blood burns like diet soda Fizzing out on the ground I wish it was my name on the hospital door But that's not the kinda thing you can say out loud The bank's foreclosing on grandpa's house While a stroke peels the last bit of life from his brain So we go to Florida, me and my dad To load up the car with anything worth saving A mug and a lamp and a childhood map My grandma is crying as we pull away Then drive up the coast and halfway thru Georgia I remember that I left the the home video tapes What will the bank do With the camcorder-caught childhood that ain't theirs Someone in a tie will look at it, say it’s worthless Then eat their dinner and say their prayers But the truth is The longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure I wish I wrote landslide by Fleetwood Mac It scarcely left me with nothing to say All I got here is this army of questions Leaving their boot prints all over my face Like, which war machine will I vote for? The one with the cross or the rainbow flag? Which phone made by slave labor will I use To call my manager & make sure I’m paid fair? We're never paid fair Which killer cops will I pay with my taxes? Which prison will I pave riding the bus? Which drone bomb will kill which parent's child While bearing the names of all of us? And are there tides on our plastic island Will it someday wash on our shores? And when is it time to think about the sea? When it's up to our necks, and not a moment before? And you told me The longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure The longer you stay pure, the harder it is to live Two Bens left home in 2011 One went to Harvard, one went to heaven First one got cold so he came inside Second one stayed true to his hill and died I wanna throw my body into the river I wanna build my house on an acre of salt And hear no news, talk only religion And forget that I’m human whenever I want And I'll say The longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure The longer you stay pure, the harder it is to live The longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure The longer you stay pure, the harder it is to live
3.
2013. 03:36
That year was one long summer & we smoked it all away Our skin, it shone with color That the sun could never fade We snuck up on the roof & we danced along the curbs Strung out & drunk on youth Nothing ever hurt in Two thousand thirteen Firing down the freeway, to see who we could be in Two thousand thirteen The years are cracks in pavement, I’m falling in-between That night you laughed like a wedding & everybody heard the bells That moon was soft as bedding & in its light we saw ourselves I know that memory turns All the past into postcards But I swear we sang like truth Laying in the yard in Two thousand thirteen Firing down the freeway, to see who we could be in Two thousand thirteen The years are cracks in pavement, I’m falling in-between You dropped out of school I grew out my hair Is it just growing up Or did we leave ourselves there I still see those boys Swimming under that moon It was the summer you left My heart was splitting in Two thousand thirteen Firing down the freeway, to see who we could be in Two thousand thirteen The years are cracks in pavement, I’m falling in-between
4.
Gibreel. 01:53
My friend named tree orders takeout Using the name Jim My uncle goes by Jamie even though His real name's Jamil I used to say my name was Gabriel I used to say my name was Gabriel Seven golden trumpets In a scale that wasn’t mine to steal Gabriel Gibreel Blue poppies Don't try to be yellow & yellow lilies Don't try to be teal I used to say my name was Gabriel I used to say my name was Gabriel Seven broken feathers Of the wings that weren’t mine to conceal
5.
Listless. 04:17
I put my Camry in the wrong gear Put a short stop to a long year There’s hailstones coming down on the turnpike now They jump like frogs when they hit the ground I'm so tired of striving There's always somewhere I’m driving Will I turn around when the gas runs out And find my feet won't touch the ground Oh I’m so listless There's no harbor lights to guide me out here I'm there in the distance Too drunk on that horizon to see it clear You stepped out in the hallway Supernatural as always We drive into town while the beech trees brown But you scarcely glance around You said everything's over You lost your life in the foreclosure When you came around you never put the camera down And now those tapes they can't be found You said I’m so listless My life is all behind me in the mirror It's out in the distance Where objects look much closer than they disappear It was 3am when the call came in And the breath fell out of my face So I packed my suit for the red eye trip And I’ll wish you on your way Oh we're all listless Just needles on a pine tree in the clear There’s light in the distance I just pray that I can find me while I’m still here
6.
Orlando. 03:02
Oh I’ve been so lone Walking this old road Left my whole family Don’t think they could stand me I saved all my quarters I sang at the borders But who even needs songs When everything’s so wrong And I pray I pray I pray And I pray I pray I pray And I drive all night all day Let the wind take me away I drove to Orlando Feeling so shallow My best friend’s got cancer So nothing else matters Disneyworld’s all dead I saw what the sign said Where dreams can come true I guess no one told you And I know I know I know And I know I know I know And I sat in that room and hoped That they take me when you go Hmm And I pray I pray I pray And I pray I pray I pray And I’ll drive all night all day Let the wind take me away
7.
We stopped and bought some mad dog off the highway near Savannah And I had never been so drunk before Seven naked bodies that the moonlight painted silver Skin that shone like surf along the shore I was on the verge of something, wild and riled and reeling We thought ourselves the first, the pioneers of every feeling The waves would rise and the laughter lines were fading from my hands Like scripture in the sand Another Boston spring, another pilgrimage to Florida I left all my sober thoughts at home You threw up in a wine glass at that party in Manhattan We never knew when it was time to go And whatever happened to whatever happens? The tidal wave came fast and I was a fist of paper napkins Standing over something I could scarcely understand Scripture in the sand You said it was my birthday when you got your diagnosis So you made up some reason not to call February second when I got you on the phone again I watched my breath while you explained it all And Tampa's 16 hours but I’m nowhere if not there And we drove to the beach the day the nurse cut off your hair And I thought maybe things are holier the less they can withstand Like scripture in the sand The day my youth ran out I was stirring pills in applesauce Coming up with questions for the nurse It's not as if I understand what it means to lose yourself But I can hold the tissues to the hurt I'm always back in Florida for some new god damned reason The place that cut you loose Shouldn't be the place that leaves you bleeding But high tide always scatters all the lives that we have planned They're scripture in the sand A slice of sky reflected in the dog bowl at the drug store I would also like to drink the sun It's hard to ask for what you want, to stand on that desire And wait there for a train that might not come After dark I painted your initials on the overpass But it got demolished, anybody could have told you that And what's left of our lives, what mark is left upon the land? We're scripture in the sand I'm a textbook picture of the need to make a meaning Out of every bird that flies away Nostalgia's more reflection of the present then the past I guess I just felt like feeling like shit today But I wanna go down like one of your old vinyl records So round that you can't see it turn and you don't know it's ending So close that till it's gone you barely knew that it began Like scripture in the sand
8.
The water's gonna rise till we finally drown Said the water's gonna rise till we finally drown And all of the ospreys singing Will soon barely even make a sound Cause the water's gonna rise till we finally drown Built a tower so high, now you'll never get down You built a tower so high, now you'll never get down And when you decide to save us There won't be nobody left around Built a tower so high, now you'll never get down Let our futures fall to tatters Then you ask us what's the matter For the ticking time & the picket signs Won't save us from the fall But it's only forever after all Lost so long, now I'm finally found I’ve been lost so long, now I'm finally found And living might take a lifetime But it's barely long enough to reach the ground Lost so long, now I'm finally found If your hopes ain't high you'll never get down Said if your hopes ain't high, you'll never get down all of my dreams are skipping stones At the bottom of the puget sound If your hopes ain't high you'll never get down Let the future fall to tatters Cause the truth is nothing matters And any words that are sung or heard Are just ashes in the fall Cause it's only forever Only forever Only forever After all
9.
Jerusalem. 05:49
I don’t know where to go I barely know where I’m coming from I never met my grandfather, from whom I got my name But the marquee letters spell “Zaidi” all the same He was born before partition, in a town called Ajmer Militias stormed his school, so the family fled to Pakistan And me I’ve never been there, I don't know what it smells like And when I say his name out loud I can’t pronounce it right Sometimes I feel like Jerusalem There’s 3 religions trickling through my veins Sometimes I feel like Jerusalem By the time they can sort it out, there'll be nothing left to claim Manzur can you hear me ? I’m speaking through the breeze My father went to tuesday school His teacher there had numbers on his arm The day I took my mother’s name, he called me on the phone A chill was in your voice, as if the words had turned to snow And I don’t wanna do this excavation anymore I’m stepping into salt & sand, whichever way I go Sometimes I feel like Jerusalem There’s 3 divisions clawing at my name Sometimes I feel like Jerusalem By the time you can sort it out, there’ll be nothing left to claim Father can you forgive me ? I’m speaking through the breee The census form came in the mail I always hated filling out these things There's no word for what I am, so I’ll turn the letters loose I’ll snap in half the hyphens, tear the terms out at the root Being mixed is a mixed blessing, in a world that makes you choose The more history you have, the more you have to lose Sometimes I feel like Jerusalem There’s 3 traditions tugging at my sleeve Sometimes I feel like Jerusalem By the time I can sort it out, there'll be nothing left of me America can you see me ? I’m speaking to the breeze
10.
I’m dreaming in plaid again Asleep on the flight The airplane window’s so cold But you’re on my mind Milkshakes in beverly Is this called growing up I’m so out of my element I’m so far from your love But i’ll keep your heart Right next to mine & we won’t grow old, no We’ll get younger with time Do you remember that night we knew & how the river caught the lights I’m still crossing that bridge with you Every day in my mind Cause i’ll keep your heart Right next to mine & we won’t grow old, no We’ll get younger with time I’m dreaming in plaid again In green & in white There’s a patchwork of fields below You’re nowhere in sight But i’ll keep your heart Right next to mine The sky might grow dark But there’s stars in your eyes Let the decades come down & let the years just float by Cause when you spend them in love You get younger with time
11.
Eucharist. 03:13
Bottles in the waste Feel like my conscience’s running late At night I’m walking to your place Listening to Tom Waits while I wait And I’d be lost without my better half Wish finding the words I was better at Wish I ain’t always let you down like democrats I would’ve told you sooner if you’d ever asked Lying down in the studio tryna fix my back Been trying for a week now and it’s still outta whack Therapist from the tv show said secrets cause that Maybe that’s where I’m at Earl grey with the sage leaves I’m making my way I ain’t make much lately, but I made it here today Holding tight to my sanity & saying my grace Bottles in the waste I’m a walking waste of space That’s all I got to say I’m tired of talking anyway I’d be lost without my family So why am I always making them mad at me Looking for attention outta vanity It’s the definition of insanity I’m spinning here like a turnstile, just letting out facts I don’t care if the shit rhymes I’m stating it flat Can’t stop and I won’t stop, you ain’t paying me for that Lately that’s where I’m at Black tea like a eucharist I’m making my way I don’t make too much sense, but I made it here today Holding tight to my fantasies and saying my grace
12.
Tampa. 02:16
I think I’ll drive to Tampa Meet you halfway I think I can still remember your place I think I’m driving to Tampa I can’t stand to see you this way And if I get to Tampa will you stay awake I said I think I’m going to Tampa Cause I can’t stand to wait And if I come to Tampa will you stay awake It might be two days or eleven days And I can’t find the phrase Say it loud and say it clear my name I said I think I’m going to Tampa If I don’t forget the place And if I come to Tampa Will you promise not to change Now I’ve been for the offers Coming out of my place But if I’m going to Tampa will you stay Another day I think I’m driving to Tampa I can’t stand to see you this way I’m going to Tampa anyway
13.
Ricochet. 03:23
The crisis is inside us And all around Everyone's got a friend on drugs In this fucking town So tell me where's that future That they keep talking about My life just ricochets yeah It still ain't hit the ground I just want to know If it's going to change The faces at the bus stop Just waiting on the rain And music's just like makeup Painted on the day I know it don't mean nothing but I just want to say The crisis is inside us And all around Went to school and spent all that money But I might as well have dropped out By twenty-five I thought I'd have figured it out But the truth just ricochets yeah It still ain't hit the ground Thee cops rolled by And I wrote my name In the cold blue light That the sirens sprayed On the ground Who we'll be And where we'll stay No one knows But we're on our way The crisis is inside us And all around The sky opens up every night And the rain keeps falling out All I hear is doomsday But it won't take us down We might ricochet but We still ain't hit the ground
14.
Thank god for all the politicians Don't you shed no salt from your eyes I thought that I was through As the shots chewed up my school But your thoughts and prayers saved my life Thank god for all the TV pundits Don't you say a word as the ocean's rise I was sure that we would drown When the levees crumbled down But your thoughts and prayers changed my mind What’s the power for? What’s the power for? What’s the power for? Thank god for all the chief executives Buy yourself a thousand dollar wine My neighbor can't buy dinner With the minimum wage you give her But your thoughts and prayers taste just fine Thank god for all the good policemen Stand there while your brother opens fire And when his trial comes around Ain't no sentence handed down But your thoughts and prayers will make it right What’s the power for? What’s the power for? What’s the power for? The powerful To all our oh so humble leaders Don't tremble when that reckoning arrives When the ones you'd tossed aside Hold the metal to your spine I hope thoughts and prayers save your life
15.
Gen Zero. 03:34
A generation with no destination A six-lane highway running out of road Still they wait and they wait and they wait While our future's running away If they knew what we knew what we knew They would know there's nothing to do Except throw another penny in the pool A generation with no expectations The house they gave us had termites in the walls And in the back in the back of the car You said the future's falling apart And every march, every vote, every rule Every dream of making it through Is just another penny in the pool A generation with no destination A hundred jasmines drying in the cold And I know and I know and I know That the sun won't die when we go But all I hoped all I hoped I could do Is spend one more summer with you But hope is a penny in a pool
16.
20/20. 03:36
I've had this problem since I was a child Cursed with perfect vision No escaping what's outside Nothing can protect you from the snow's cold sting When you can see the holes in everything Oh we saw it all We saw it all way too clear Burning up the cobwebs from our worst fears Oh we saw it all We saw it all way too clear In 20/20 Someone said there's years that ask us things And years that answer back But maybe some are halls of mirrors That show us what we lack Sometimes it's too painful to behold The grey-bearded man by the taxi stand Sleeping in the cold Oh we saw it all We saw it all way too clear Burning up the cobwebs from our worst fears Oh we saw it all We saw it all way too clear In 2020 Amanda I wish I could do more for you
17.
Daedalus. 03:04
Daedalus I’ll leave the loving to you As long as you leave the leaving to me Father and I ever farther we flew Dropping feathers into the cerulean sea Sun is sun is in your eyes All this all this all this time The sun is sun is in your eyes And it's falling Daedalus flew to california in spring Tryna write for movies but it wouldn't last long Went back to school there was money to make And two little children that were waiting at home Sun is sun is in your eyes All this all this all this time The sun is sun is in your eyes And you're falling I'm on a plane to california today And I'm gonna make it there singing my songs I'm gonna fly, where Daedalus failed Just look at me now the world is getting so small Sun is sun is in your eyes All this all this all this time Sun is sun is in your eyes Your son is son is in your eyes
18.
Glass Jaw. 02:26
I thought I’d trade a lover for a friend But somehow I lost both of them On the lake the cops got called And we both hopped the fence And in the dark we kissed on accident But it don’t ever stay that way The fog always descends And you can’t make out where the water ends I thought I’d make a lover out of my best friend But somehow I lost both of them The bank foreclosed on grandpa’s house again We packed up the important things and put them in the van He used to say you keep what you save And you lose what you spend But somehow he lost both of them Well I would trade away this car if I could stay somewhere And I would trade this fever to the wind I thought I’d trade my armor for her hand on my skin But somehow i lost both of them
19.
Shoulder season and the sand is cold It sent a chill sliding into my soul Twelve hundred miles south of home But it's tugging at my sleeve My mom called but the service was bad She couldn't hear half the words that I said I said I'd try her back but my phone went dead And the wind kicked up the leaves The empty beach, the whistling air The hollows you'd forgot were there The sun blinks back with a lonely glare That buckles on the beach When life's just out of reach Sometimes I catch myself tryna be god Teasing whispers out of the fog My therapist said curing pain with thoughts Is like tryna drown the rain I had a thought but I forgot what it was So I'll sit on the dock till it’s darker than dusk And I'll talk and I'll talk and I'll never shut up Till my mind runs off the page I'm pulling levers, raising weights Tryna keep the needles straight Drowning out the sounds of fate That rumble in the breach When life's just out of reach When life's just out of reach I've chased the wind, I've chased that love The kind that kids draw pictures of The vacancy sign swinging high above In a sky as bright as bleach My life's just out of reach I won't go Where you go Shoulder season in a tourist town Lush lawns all rusted brown No lifeguard to stop me now If I walked into the sea
20.
Google Maps. 02:48
On google maps street view Outside of my parents’ old house You can see me at 18 And my high school girlfriend by her car I was walking her out Both our faces are blurred I guess they do that now for some kind of legal reasons Seattle grey sky and the evergreens So you can’t determine the season I caught us there, yesterday as I clicked my way down the street The pavement slides like the hallway of time Where the two of us slowly retreat And I see Youth was wasted on me A serious youth So self-absorbed Window shopping for attention I could never afford I was shit-faced on genius Singing my days away You went to college And put me on layaway I wanna live where they never get old And I'll try and forget all the big words I know Put your fingers in mine Kick your flats to the floor And we'll shake till the buildings collapse on the shore I almost died yesterday When the lights ran out on the beach So if we've still got a drink in that bottle And one breath of youth left to breathe Would you waste it on me

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Ben Zaidi shares the album's Deluxe Version, an extension of the original Acre of Salt. featuring 9 unreleased songs.

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released November 18, 2022

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Ben Zaidi Seattle, Washington

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