Ben Zaidi’s Blues.

from Acre of Salt. by Ben Zaidi

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lyrics

my blood burns like diet soda
fizzing out on the ground
i wish it was my name on the hospital door
but that's not the kinda thing you can say out loud
the bank's foreclosing on grandpa's house
while a stroke peels the last bit of life from his brain
so we go to florida, me & my dad
to load up the car with anything worth saving

a mug & a lamp & a childhood map
my grandma is crying as we pull away
then drive up the coast & halfway thru georgia
i remember that i left the the home video tapes
what will the bank do
with the camcorder-caught childhood that ain't theirs
someone in a tie will look at it, say it’s worthless
then eat their dinner & say their prayers

but the truth is––
the longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure

i wish i wrote landslide by fleetwood mac
it scarcely left me with nothing to say
all i got here is this army of questions
leaving their bootprints all over my face
like, which war machine will i vote for ?
the one with the cross or the rainbow flag ?
which phone made by slave labor will i use
to call my manager & make sure i'm paid fair ?
we're never paid fair…

which killer cops will i pay with my taxes ?
which prison will i pave riding the bus ?
which drone bomb will kill which parent's child,
while bearing the names of all of us ?
& are there tides on our plastic island
will it someday wash on our shores ?
& when is it time to think about the sea ?
when it's up to our necks, & not a moment before ?

& you told me––
the longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure
the longer you stay pure, the harder it is to live

two ben's left home in 2011
one went to harvard, one went to heaven
first one got cold so he came inside
second one stayed true to his hill & died
i wanna throw my body into the river
i wanna build my house on an acre of salt
& hear no news, talk only religion
& forget that i’m human whenever i want

& i'll say––
the longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure
the longer you stay pure, the harder it is to live
the longer you live, the harder it is to stay pure
the longer you stay pure, the harder it is to live

credits

from Acre of Salt., track released August 6, 2021

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Ben Zaidi Seattle, Washington

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